Shopping drains my soul

Ran the Darent Valley 10K yesterday. Slightly slower than the last few years but I will get faster now that my training is back on track after the terrible show I put in for the Hasting's run.

I only just got there in time. I sprinted from the car to the start line and 20 seconds later the race began, I was running along pinning my number on.

It was an early start, 08:30, so when I got home we went shopping. Mainly for my wife as she had to work Saturday and needed some retail therapy.

For a man, shopping with a woman is incredibly boring. They never seem to have any idea of what they want to buy. For the amount of time they spend shopping you'd think they'd have got a little better at it.

You have to traipse around from shop to shop and stand around for 30 minutes at each store. The larger shops have special holding areas for the husbands/boyfriends, these are disguised as sofas and chairs outside the fitting rooms. The really ought to put some computer and motoring magazines in those places.

You get to sit and veg out trying not to look like a peeping Tom whilst you wait for the chance to make appropriate noises when she asks your opinion on the dress/blouse/shoes. This is the point where young men get shot to pieces, they've yet to learn that when she asks what you think she doesn't want YOUR opinion she wants you to guess what SHE thinks of the item and then affirm HER ideas.

Younger women don't yet realise that their man couldn't give a flying fig about any item of clothing that isn't crotchless so they don't help the guy out. The more experienced lady shopper will give her man a big clue as to what she thinks when she asks him what he thinks.

This is some typical dialogue from a couple that have been together for at least 5 years:

Jenny: "This dress isn't very flattering is it." This means, It makes my arse look huge.
Brian: "No, I think the other, vastly more expensive one, was much better." This means, Phwoar, your arse looks good in that, if I agree to the more expensive dress maybe I'll get lucky tonight.

See? It's easy.