Neverending

Just as I was leaving the ofice last night I got a text from my wife saying that her Grandma had taken a turn for the worse. The doctors were estimating that she had 24 to 48 hours left.

My wife wanted to visit her and take her parents too.

The relationships on this side of the family are a little strained. My wife's Grandmother has four sons and a daughter. The eldest is my father-in-law and the youngest is the daughter, she is only 8 years older than my wife.

We see these two quite regularly but have little contact with the others. This is mainly because of the animosity that the dying women has shown to her daughter over the years. She was uncommonly distant from her daughter, J, and has been quite cruel at times, refusing to speak to her or see her grandson. There doesn't appear to be any reason for this and I guess we'll never know why.

About 9 years ago my wife's Grandfather died. Shortly after this her Grandmother wrote a letter to my wife telling her that she didn't want to see her anymore and wouldn't come to our wedding. The letter was very hurtful but some of the things in it showed that the Grandmother was confusing my wife with her daughter. Her mind had started to go and she moved in with her son D and his wife C.

As her health deteriorated rapidly over the last year, the family has been pulling back together slowly. The only problems seem to be those between the Grandmother and her daughter, J. J now lives in Dorset and is too far away to visit at the moment. Also, as she has been out of the loop for a while she thnks that everyone is at each other's throats but it just isn't like that. The semi-estranged brothers are all around the bed (apart from one, J, who has alcohol problems) and chatting sociably.

I drove my wife and her parents to the hospital as I thought it best that my father-in-law didn't drive. I'm relatively detached from the situation emotionally but he might not have been in a fit state to drive.

As it turned out my in-laws decided to sleep in charis by the bedside so that the old lady was not alone. It is palliative care only now, morphine to keep the pain away. She isn't concious and her time is near.

My wife and I got home in the early hours and tonight is going to be the same, if the old lady lives through the day..